When I was a little girl I always dreamed of being a mom and a wife. I had the best mom in the world and I was inspired to be just like her. Little did I know my dreams would come true. I have the most amazing, supportive husband a woman could dream of and three rambunctious boys who make my life VERY interesting. Later in life, I developed the dream to become a trauma nurse. I feel the need to help others deep down in my bones. I was made for this. It is my calling. I didn’t expect this dream would come with such hardships and also take such a physical and emotional toll on me.
Every day when I leave for work my boys tell me to be safe and try not to get sick. It is difficult to see the worry on their little faces, not kiss my husband in a month, sleep alone in the cold basement, not see my dad in over a month and keep a distance from my mom who I desperately just want to hug. I am so beat down physically and emotionally on my first day off that I can barely function.
I’ve shed tears thinking about the day I might screw up. The day I touch my face without realizing it and bring this monster home with me. What would I do if I was to blame for one of my loved ones getting sick? I try not to dwell on those thoughts. I wouldn’t trade my life or experience for anything. Every day I walk into work and know that my second family stands beside me and they’re ready to fight with me. I am so humbled by my coworkers. We all have our vital part in fighting death knocking on someone’s door and we all give our blood sweat and tears to say, ‘Not today. Not under our watch.’
Photo credit – Instagram: @jenzafrenza